This article originally posted on Better After 50.

It turns out that the average guy spends about $170 on Valentine's Day. That's a hefty sum to show the woman in your life you love, admire, and respect her. Chocolate, flowers, cards, dinner....are you looking to save a few bucks but still make a great impression? This year, forget the chocolate (we really don't want to eat it) and forget the flowers (we feel bad when we forget to add fresh water and they droop and die.) I heard the other day that even perfume can make you fat, so by all means, forget the perfume.

Don't cancel the dinner reservation just yet, but make the dinner special by showing your love by presenting her with a handmade card. I know what you're thinking, you don't DO homemade cards. What would you say? "Happy Valentine's Day? I Love You!" Yes, that is Boring, and I know, you are one of those great guys that tell her you love her every day, right? "Goodbye, I love you," "Goodnight, I love you," hundreds of times over the course of a month, a year -- when you hang up the phone, leave for work, before you fall asleep.

But you can say "I Love You,"at mid-life without saying "I Love You" -- and you can say it better than Hallmark can. I guarantee it, because I am here to help. Here are 25 ways to give the message "I Love You" to your Valentine, in your own hand. You'll save $3.00 on the card, and because she'll know you mean it, she is sure to swoon. All of these messages start off with HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY HONEY... just feel free to choose among the following ways to say, "I love you":

1. "You look really hot (and not just when you're having a flash!)"


2. "I'm going to stop by your mother's before dinner so I can change her lightbulb."


3. "I have a surprise for you... that I'm sure I will think of soon."


4. "Everyone farts, but yours smell like roses to me."


5. "How about one entire hour this evening, we don't watch TV."


6. "Would you like to control the TV clicker tonight?"


7. "Let's just cuddle."


8. "I unloaded the dishwasher."


9. "Let's hold hands."


10. "Did you lose weight?"


11. "Your ass looks fantastic in those jeans."


12. "I took out the garbage."


13. "I am so happy I married you. Who else would have had me?"


14. "You are my best friend (besides the dog.)"


15. "I think we should renovate the kitchen."


16. "Let's go out on a date night Thursday and visit your dad in the nursing home."


17. "I put the toilet seat down when I got up to pee last night. I think I'm learning."


18. "What would I do without you? (no sarcasm intended.)"


19. "I know I can count on you to remind me to take my meds."


20. "I called each of the kids today. All good. Feel free to sleep tonight."


21. "I think we should go to your cousin's kid's wedding in Detroit. Really, I do."


22. "Let's have some real facetime. I'll meet you at home for lunch."


23. "I took a little blue pill just before we left."


24. "I love that you make me laugh."


25. "Let's grow old together."

And guys, if you simply can't say a bunch of these things and mean it? Get thee to the jewelry store -- or if even that's out or your wheelhouse -- maybe its time to see that lawyer. Pronto.

Earlier on Huff/Post50: