Stone Fox Bride

In the ’90s, I dated a musician who was the opening act for Pearl Jam. He told me that once he walked on the stage, in front of 60,000 people in a packed amphitheater, with his guitar and blue feather boa and bleached blond hair, and screamed out: “FUCK YOU!” They screamed it back: “Fuck you!” He screamed it again: “Fuck you!” They screamed it back: “Fuck you!” Then he said: “I love you.” And they said nothing. You could, he said, have heard a pin fall on the floor. All 60,000, stunned into silence. I love you. It’s stunning, and scary. Especially when you don’t expect it. Why not try the same thing, only minus the 60,000 people. Stand in front of a full-length mirror instead. Take off your clothes, look in your own eyes, whisper “I love you” into the woman who is standing, bare and scared, right in front of your face. Feel the love for the person you were and the person you are and the person you want to become. It will make you sick with discomfort, the act of being naked and alone in a room with your reflection, but stay where you and say it anyway. Say it for 10 days in a row: “I love you.” Stop telling yourself you’re scared. Stop telling yourself that he needs to say “I love you.” Stop telling yourself that you need to say it back. You are right where you need to be: fearless enough to own the radical idea of opening up your heart and letting someone look inside. That’s enough for now. “Why Haven’t We Said ‘I Love You’ Yet?' — An oldie but goodie Dear Molly column on @voguemagazine! Check it out if you're in a procrastinatey kind of mood....