I was a junior in high school when my parents separated. I wasn't surprised at all. I'm sure my parents thought I was an emotionless robot because I simply didn't seem to care.

But I had seen it coming for as long as I could remember. Theirs wasn't a marriage where they ever seemed happy or in love. I went about my normal life, and don't even remember ever being upset or crying about it. I thought I was OK with it, that it was no big deal.

Now as a rising junior in college, I look back and realize how wrong I was. The divorce ruined my relationship with my father, and I didn't know how to handle my mother's emotions. I'm an only child, and had no one else to lean on. My parent's divorce changed so much about who I am today.

I remember the exact moment I realized I would never be the same.

My senior year of high school, I became involved in a relationship that lasted well into my freshman year of college. It was toxic. Looking back I regret the entire thing. I put up with a lot of things I shouldn't have--and vice versa.

We broke up and got back together multiple times, until I had had enough and I remember thinking, "Why am I doing this to him or to myself?" I thought about my mother and how heartbroken she was when her marriage to my dad ended, and I realized something: Relationships don't always work out. Why would I continue to fight for something that's so unhealthy in the first place? That was the moment I realized that so much of myself, my view on relationships, and how I acted in them was affected by my parents' divorce.

Divorce is so common now that not many people think about how it affects the children of the family, but it does.

Growing up, I heard my parents fight. I heard them cry. I heard them throughout all the bullshit. They were constantly arguing about finances behind closed doors. I know my father didn't want to be responsible for me. There are times that I genuinely wanted to look both of them in the eye and say, "I love you, but fuck you." But the thing I resented about them the most was that they made me go through it alone.

I'm a different person now than I was five years ago. I've grown stronger, more independent, and more resilient. On the other hand, I have the most fucked up trust issues of anyone I know, and find it hard to believe in the concept of marriage in the first place.

But I'm not ready to give up on it just yet. To all the children of divorce out there, don't give up. Don't let your relationships go sour because you're scared. Remember not everyone will fuck you over.

Oh, and sorry to all the boys who have (and will) come into my life. You're going to have to deal with a lot of my bullshit. You're going to have to constantly prove to me that I can trust you.

You can thank the divorce for that one.